I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
