fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When are your genitals available?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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