I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
