Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
