Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
