If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
