Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
