We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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