those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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