Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
