So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
