Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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