i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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