we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
