dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
