the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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