did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
