in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
