Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
