doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
