and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
