Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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