when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
