Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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