You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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