hotel room ftw
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
