No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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