3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
