I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
