she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
