I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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