the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
