I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
