Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize