puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
