everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Randomize
