if i can run in heels then i can drive
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
