How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
