I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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