what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
