I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
