Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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