Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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