No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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