Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize