Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
