Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
