You can't special order awesome
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
