wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
