If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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