I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
