That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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