brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he thought i was a dude.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
