But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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