I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
only you would photoshop your dick
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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