But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
