With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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